About 2 weeks ago, I had a nice schedule in the mornings. I got up, fixed my husband breakfast, had devotions, did a short work-out, then John got up. We started our morning, we had breakfast, (I was actually cooking myself an omelet). We sang a song and read the Bible and then went on about our day. The rest of my day wasn't quite so organized, but just that little routine helped me to stay focused and feel good.
Then it all changed. John decided to start getting up at 6 AM giving me NO time to myself and just rushing through everything and not having song time or Bible time. My devotions were rushed and interrupted by John's needs and my work-outs just didn't happen.
I'm amazed at how much I allow myself to be thrown by circumstances. How much just a schedule change can affect me so much and make me feel as though I am in turmoil, uncertainty and out of control.
Looking back at these moments, I realize how much I need to lean on the Lord. I realize that it doesn't matter how many schedules I have in place, I'm still not in control. Even those things that make me feel peaceful aren't my true source of joy and peace. When I stop and focus on the Lord, the tasks aren't so daunting, the to do list doesn't matter as much and I am able to not waste time, and get the things done that I need to get done.
I long to have everything done, perfect and organized. I long to get all my tasks done, be patient with my son and have extra time to spend with him, just laughing and playing. Instead I find myself wasting time, frantically hurrying through my chores, wanting to do so much more, being impatient with my son, rushing him off to play with his toys every second of the day.
I don't want to be this mom. I want to be intentional and lean on the grace of God to help me to follow His lead and patiently guide our son in righteousness. God truly is the only one that can make this happen. I commit myself to Him today. I must do this everyday in order to glorify Him through my life and my parenting.
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