Friday, March 13, 2015

Looking for change in all the wrong places

I’ve been here before.  I’ve said these words.  I know I need to change.  I want to say I don’t know how to change, but the bottom line is I don’t really WANT to change.  In other words, I don’t want to do what it takes to change, I want the change to just happen.  I guess like a caterpillar in a cocoon, I want someone to cut me out, instead of fighting my way out.  I don’t want to evaluate every thought and take it captive and make it obedient to the Lord.(2 Cor 10:5)  I don’t want to be kind, compassionate or humble.  I would rather defend myself and be mean to my children because they are in the way of me finishing my chores. 

Well not really, I don’t want to be that person, so why am I still here?  Why do I continue in patterns of anger?  Why don’t I just change?  I want so bad to be different.  I want to be the perfect wife and mom who has it all together.  I want to post all over Facebook how my children behave so well, I feed them so nutritiously and how I might just be the best mom ever to live.  I want to be recognized and noticed.  I want to have all the answers for all other moms everywhere.  I would like to say that I have finally figured out how to be the perfect parent and now all you have to do is follow my 3 step plan and pronounce me mom of the year.  I don’t even want your money, I just want your recognition and praise.  Do you see it?  My motivation is not to change, my motivation is ALL about me.  I want to be great, I want to be lifted up, I want my life to be all about me.  The root problem: I’m prideful.  It manifests itself in several way (which I will go in to detail in another post).  Some ways are through self-pity, people pleasing, perfectionism and wanting recognition.

My pride has roots deep in my soul.  I’m really good at realizing the sin, confessing it and doing nothing different.  Maybe the reason I feel like a crazy person is because (well I am a little crazy) but I am doing the same thing, expecting different results.  I’m ready to change and do something different.   If you have dealt with pride in your own life, I would love to hear your story.  Maybe you can relate and would like to take this journey with me.  It doesn’t have to be pride.  Do you have a habitual sin that you want to conquer?  Are you really ready to change?

I will be using the following outline taken from  2 Timothy 3:14-17 

"You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."

4 steps  (bolded in the verse above)

1.      Teaching- What does the Bible say about Pride?
2.      Conviction- How is it manifest in my life?
3.      Correction -What does the Bible say about humility(opposite of pride)?
4.      Disciplined Training in Righteousness-How will I change?

I'm blogging about this for accountability.  If I post it, I'm more likely to follow up with the process.  I'm excited and am hopeful for change because God's Word says we can change.  


The outline is from Jay Adams’ book “How to help people change” (http://www.amazon.com/How-Help-People-Change-Adams/dp/031051181X).

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