I’ve
been here before. I’ve said these
words. I know I need to change. I want to say I don’t know how to change, but
the bottom line is I don’t really WANT to change. In other words, I don’t want to do what it
takes to change, I want the change to just happen. I guess like a caterpillar in a cocoon, I
want someone to cut me out, instead of fighting my way out. I don’t want to evaluate every thought and
take it captive and make it obedient to the Lord.(2 Cor 10:5) I don’t want to be kind, compassionate or
humble. I would rather defend myself and
be mean to my children because they are in the way of me finishing my chores.
Well not
really, I don’t want to be that person, so why am I still here? Why do I continue in patterns of anger? Why don’t I just change? I want so bad to be different. I want to be the perfect wife and mom who has
it all together. I want to post all over
Facebook how my children behave so well, I feed them so nutritiously and how I
might just be the best mom ever to live.
I want to be recognized and noticed.
I want to have all the answers for all other moms everywhere. I would like to say that I have finally
figured out how to be the perfect parent and now all you have to do is follow
my 3 step plan and pronounce me mom of the year. I don’t even want your money, I just want
your recognition and praise. Do you see
it? My motivation is not to change, my
motivation is ALL about me. I want to be
great, I want to be lifted up, I want my life to be all about me. The root problem: I’m prideful. It manifests itself in several way (which I
will go in to detail in another post).
Some ways are through self-pity, people pleasing, perfectionism and
wanting recognition.
My pride
has roots deep in my soul. I’m really
good at realizing the sin, confessing it and doing nothing different. Maybe the reason I feel like a crazy person
is because (well I am a little crazy) but I am doing the same thing, expecting
different results. I’m ready to change
and do something different. If you have
dealt with pride in your own life, I would love to hear your story. Maybe you can relate and would like to take
this journey with me. It doesn’t have to
be pride. Do you have a habitual sin
that you want to conquer? Are you really
ready to change?
I will
be using the following outline taken from
2 Timothy
3:14-17
"You, however, continue in the things
you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have
known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that
leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ
Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in
righteousness; so that the man of God may be
adequate, equipped for every good work."
4 steps (bolded in the verse above)
1.
Teaching- What does the Bible say about
Pride?
2.
Conviction- How is it manifest in my life?
3.
Correction -What does the Bible say about
humility(opposite of pride)?
4.
Disciplined Training in
Righteousness-How
will I change?
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